'JCVD' is a damn good time, 'The 400 Blows' does not blow, and Tarantino refuses to admit he made a mistake.

Nothing like a ridiculous title to illustrate that I don't know how to focus anymore.

But we're going to get through this. Let's start with Francois Truffaut's "The 400 Blows," which I finished last night after stopping it about five times. It is said to be Truffaut's greatest film and perhaps the main staple of French New Wave. I can't confirm the former claim because I had only seen "The Wild Child" before watching "The 400 Blows." (I wrote an entry about it here, complete with a pretentious comparison to David Lynch's "The Elephant Man.)

Honestly, I enjoyed my first viewing of "The Wild Child" more, but there is undeniable power in "The 400 Blows," however quiet that power is. As I said, I stopped the film several times to do other things before returning to it. Why? Because the film was asking too much of me. The story involves a young boy who gets into too much trouble ... he is certainly a misbehaving little bastard ... but adults--his parents, teachers, etc.--treat him like a monster. That's a tough thing to enjoy, and Truffaut doesn't gloss it up one bit, though he throws in a few clever and funny moments.

As I observed in "The Wild Child," Truffaut utilizes a detached, almost scientific perspective in "The 400 Blows," and he expects the viewer to take in the facts and arrive at a humane conclusion. This fascinating technique has worked twice on me, but again, if you don't bring a heart to either of these films, you're going to dismiss both as Tales of Bratty Children.

There is one interesting difference between "The Wild Child" and "The 400 Blows." The kid in the former is a heathen of the woods, yet adults are willing to help him--they don't want him in a cage. The kid in the latter is a heathen of society, yet adults are unwilling to help him--they want him in a cage.

But enough serious talk ... "JCVD" is a silly and intelligent ride. Not only can Van Damme act, but he can make you feel for him. I'm not going to say much else about "JCVD" other than these points:

1. If you haven't watched any Van Damme movies, don't bother watching this now. Go watch "Bloodsport," "Kickboxer," and "Lionheart." Then watch this.

2. If you take this film too seriously and miss the point, shame on you. I'll admit the pacing could have been better, but the payoff is worth it. Christ, it's only a little more than 90 minutes.

3. This isn't another "Being John Malkovich." If you dismiss it with this faulty intel, you are a liar and possibly a sexual deviant, Mr. President.

And now, the big headline: ADMIT YOUR HORRIBLE MISTAKE, TARANTINO. Yeah, I have all your movies on DVD (and I've probably lost credibility now, but fuck it), and I have defended your ridiculous ass on many occasions (and will continue to do so when appropriate), and I am going to watch "Inglourious Basterds" (and I wish everyone would stop whining about the misspellings ... Jeezus Christus, why take obvious bait?).

But your claim from this article is pathetic and stupid:

‘‘Fahrenheit 9/11.’’ You know what? As time has gone on, I’ve put that decision under a microscope and I still think we were right. That was a movie of the moment — ‘‘Fahrenheit 9/11’’ may not play the same way now as it did then, but back then it deserved everything it got.

- Quentin Tarantino, on the decision to give "Fahrenheit 9/11" the Palme d'Or in 2004

First, let me clarify something. I don't give a shit about what movie wins the Palme d'Or. "Freddy Got Fingered" could have won it one year. I have no idea.

But Tarantino is simply wrong. Yeah, he's been a douchebag plenty of times, but he usually knows how to make a point. Here, he doesn't even attempt to make a point. He says "magnifying glass," but if he would take a close look at "Fahrenheit 9/11," he would know it's garbage filmmaking. It's not even consistently entertaining. A chunk of the movie is essentially a mother whining about her dead son who signed up to die. Not only is it a ridiculously overlong appeal to pity, but it's something I never want to watch in the first place. And guess what Tarantino could have voted for? "Oldboy," one of the most groundbreaking and exciting films of the decade.

OK, OK, so I'm bitchy. But I simply detest arguments that praise "Fahrenheit 9/11" like an unfortunate junkie rejoicing over a cure for AIDS.